Thursday, September 10, 2009

I'm guilty -- St.Ofle

I can't be too honest.
My beloved grandfather died a few moths back.

I didn't go visit him in the hospital as he was dying, though I easily could have.
"don't! you'll regret it, he's in too bad of shape -- he may not even recognize you" people said.
Well intentioned, they told me stories of how people they knew had died, and seeing a dying person is a mess (they said).
"You want to remember hi the way he was"
Feeling it was the right thing to do (for myself) I didn't visit him.
Now I regret it.

I think it's selfish.
The thing a dying human wants the most is to feel loved.
The last thing any dying human wants is to feel marginalized, or forgotten.

This is a portrait I did of my handsome (and now dead) grandfather.
(He was the Richard from whence this Richard got the name Richard)


  1. Same thing happened to me about 15+ years ago with my favorite of my dad's relatives. He was the "cool uncle" and he died of some strange disease way too young. I never saw him in the hospital though he was there a long time (apparently, he was in bad shape). I'm not sure that I ever truly regretted not seeing him--I was still young when he passed, but even now I have days when I can't believe he's not alive somewhere, being silly with little kids, making them feel important. He was a rad dude with a great set of hair.

  2. And I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa. But I think he knows.